Monthly Archives: January 2015

Recipe: Spicy Basil Pork Stir Fry

Guys I just made the best stir fry I have ever made.  I wanted to make something a little bit like a Thai-er version of lettuce wraps, except without the lettuce because lettuce is basically just shitty watermelon, and without having to go to some godawful chain restaurant and paying $10 for it. So I made this up.

Because I am low-carbing it, I made this as sort of a dry stir-fry, with just enough sauce to coat the meat (heh, meat.) But if you want to eat it over rice, and of course you do because you are a human being presumably, just increase the broth to a cup and stir-in like 3 tsp of cornstarch in the sauce.

So, on with the show.

pork

SHIT THAT GOES IN THE PAN

1 lb ground pork (or chicken, or beef, or tofu or rocks or whatever – it needs to be ground up though)

2 TB ginger

I didn’t measure the garlic, but you probably know how much garlic you like in stuff. I threw in about four cloves.

5 oz can of water chestnuts (WHAT ARE THESE THINGS)

A splash of oil

SAUCE INGREDIENTS

1/2 cup chicken broth

1 tsp chili-garlic paste (Like this. Everybody’s got a boner for sriracha but I honestly like this stuff better. It’s a little spicier and not as sweet.)

1 tsp brown sugar

1 TB fish sauce (you heard me. If you leave this out I’ll know. I will KNOW. And I’ll come to your house in the middle of the night and put a bottle of fish sauce under your pillow.)

2 1/2 TB soy sauce

4 TB lime juice (fresh, preferably, but I’m not going to go all Martha Stewart on you)

Mix ingredients, set aside

STUFF THAT GOES IN AT THE END

A handful of basil – again, I didn’t really measure but it was a good handful of leaves

3 or 4 chopped green onions

—–

WHAT TO DO

So you mixed up all your sauce ingredients like a good kid. Now chop up the garlic, ginger, and water chestnuts. Or be super lazy like me and throw them in the food processor because knives are for hooligans!

Heat the pan on medium high, drizzle some oile in there, and toss in the garlic, ginger and chestnuts. Cook until the garlic and ginger are fragrant – about a minute.

Throw the meat in the pan and if it’s chicken or pork you make sure it is cooked right the hell up because I don’t want your lingering, worms-eating-your-intestines-horror-movie-style death from trichinosis or whatever on my conscience. Does that even happen? I don’t know. Either way, cook your pork. If I’m having to tell you that though, you probably aren’t really cooking stuff in the first place so forget I just said all of that. Just shut up and throw the damn meat in the pan.

After it’s cooked, stir in the sauce, making sure everything is coated thoroughly. Do that for a minute or so, turn off the heat, toss in the green onions and basil and enjoy!

RANDOM NOTES

To me, this didn’t turn out very spicy. I had to add some more chili sauce after I cooked it. But I would recommend you still stick with a tsp (or even half a teaspoon if you’re not real big on spice) and adjust from there. It’s easier to add it in than it is to take it out!

Next time I make this I think I’ll add cabbage and carrots. It would make it healthier and add more crunch.

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2014 in review

2014 was a pretty big year for me. I got back down to my college weight – I’d gained a LOT over the past few years due to various medications and the fact that I live five minutes away from the best Thai restaurant in the history of ever. And cheese fries. A lot of the weight was due to cheese fries. But yeah. Lost it all. It’s changed a lot more than my appearance. I have started being a part of the world again, going out and socializing and enjoying life. This was the most revolutionary year I’ve had since I graduated college *coughcough* years ago.

Shitty things also happened. My grandmother died in November, a few weeks after my birthday. I’ve written about that at length elsewhere and I’m honestly all talked out about it, but the world lost a great woman. Then a few weeks after that I ended up with a stress fracture in my tibia and I couldn’t exercise for a while so I gained back some of the weight I lost, which sent me into a downward spiral of EAT ALL THE COOKIES. So I’m up about five pounds now – but I’ll lose it again.

Game of the year – Dragon Age: Inquisition. Hands down. I’m a huge fan of Bioware games anyway, and I loved Dragon Age: Origins and didn’t think any other entry in the series could come close, but. . .I actually think I might like Inquisition a little better than Origins, even.  The open world is so incredibly immersive. It’s better at being Skyrim than Skyrim was. My first playthrough was 170 hours, and I immediately started a new file after I finished because I wasn’t even close to being bored with it yet.

Also after years of waiting I was finally able to romance my handsome blonde knight in shining armor, Cullen:

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Bonus picture of my inquisitor, Titania. I wonder if the people in my Thedas ever talk about how weird it is that the Hero of Ferelden, the Champion of Kirkwall, AND the Inquisitor are all dark haired, pale-skinned, green eyed women.

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Runner up – Super Smash Brothers Wii U. I don’t have to explain this. It’s Smash Bros. It’s awesome. I think the Wii U gets shit on a lot, and unfairly. If it had better third party support, it would be a fine system. Nintendo makes quality hardware, and quality games. . .but they aim for the family audience rather than the gaming audience. I wish it would work out for them, but I’m not feeling hopeful.

Album of the Year – Rave Tapes by Mogwai. Mogwai creates some of the most atmospheric music ever. It’s great for writing or painting or just flopping on your bed and listening to it.

Comic of the Year – RED SONJA by Gail Simone. Sonja has for a long time been pretty problematic because she’s overly sexualized, running around in a chainmail bikini, but the fabulous Gail Simone took ownership of her and made her into a badass who wears the chainmail bikini just because she is showing off that she’s so badass she doesn’t even need to wear actual armor. There are so many strong female characters in the book.

Also gotta love that Sonja stays drunk and stinky half the time. She’s pretty much my spirit animal.