If we’re going to be honest here. . .

Here are ten reasons you should probably hate me:

1.)I really liked Prometheus. I thought the visuals were stunning and I was not bothered by what other people perceived as plot holes.  I still watch it again every few months.

2.)I’m the one that gets the toast crumbs in your butter.

3.)Literally NO ONE approves of the way I load a dishwasher. That’s because I think the racks are just suggestions instead of actual boundaries and I feel like if we can send a man to space, we can put plates with giant crumbs on them in a dishwasher.

4.) The back of my entertainment center is dark and full of terrors: it is a snake-mating-ball tangle of wires for various cable boxes and consoles. I don’t even know what some of those cables lead to, but I’m afraid if I unplug any of them, then it’ll start some sort of chain reaction. I have taken pictures of the wire tangle and sent them to techie friends just so I could feed upon their sweet, sweet groans of agony.

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5.) One time when this awful guy would not stop calling me, I picked up the phone and used an unintentionally-crappy fake voice and said “Casey moved to Ohio.”

6.) I tell people I don’t listen to DMB anymore but I totally do. They were my first concert. I lost my virginity to DMB. (Well, not the actual band. They were playing in the background. I’d tell you if it had been the actual band, though. I probably wouldn’t shut up about it.) I still relentlessly judge other people for having shitty music taste though, which includes listening to DMB.

7.) I drink Fireball. I didn’t know that made me a horrible person until Sammi and George pointed it out and, after doing research, I discovered they were right. It’s not like drinking jaeger, but it’s pretty close.

8.)I will also leave just a little sliver of milk in the container. I’ll do it. I will and I won’t even apologize.

9.)I just punched my elderly cat in the nose. It was an accident, but nobody is ever like “oh, okay” when you accidentally punch an old person so it’s basically the same thing.

10.) I’m a keyboard turner.

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