Tag Archives: wtfery

Sweet dreams are most definitely not made of these.

I have not been getting enough sleep lately, even for me, and I didn’t manage to get to bed until 5 am this morning (again). I am naturally inclined toward having weird dreams, and when I don’t get sleep they end up being batshit insane. The first one I had was some sort of Disney World ride through this really awesome 80s space station. In the dream, this space station was one of my favorite rides growing up, and missed it terribly since it had closed. So my ‘cousin’ (I do not know anyone resembling this person) worked there and was able to open the ride back up for me. But I’d spent so long in there that I was afraid I was locked in and BECAUSE of that, I was certain she had died. Dream logic, right? I guess the thing is there was just such a menacing overtone to it, made all the more so because it’s juxtaposed against the innocence of revisiting happy childhood memories.

Then I woke up because my sleeping cat had juxtaposed his ass against my face.

After I swatted him away and went back to sleep I dreamed that I was dying of tuberculosis (I guess because my giant cat was smothering me with his butt) and all of my family had either died in an accident on a ride through an 80s space station in Disney World (What? Whoa! Cue the ominous music!) or had abandoned me (those jerks), but a guy friend stayed with me to take care of me in my last days AND I TOTALLY DIED IN THE MIDDLE OF GASPING AND COUGHING UP BLOOD AND WRITING THAT DUDE A LETTER ABOUT HOW MUCH HE MEANT TO ME! You can die in dreams! Eat it, Hollywood! And then the dream took a bizarre, fourth-wall breaking turn and I (not dream me who was younger and a little different looking – real, typing-this-right-now me) was hovering above my corpse, and I (Real Me) was like “whoa, I just died! I better wake up before he gets me!” and so I did.

I don’t know who “he” is but I was pretty terrified in the dream at the prospect of him catching me, so that is some Japanese horror film bullshit right there.

The parking lot at work was surprisingly empty and Silent Hillesque when I got here this morning. I could be in purgatory, I suppose. Blogging, even from the afterlife. That’s me.

Incidentally, now my neighbor’s kindly boyfriend thinks I’m a lunatic because he came across me this morning as I was getting toilet paper off the bottom of my shoe and muttering “whoaaa, glitch in the matrix, glitch in the matrix,” but joke’s on him because I wasn’t saying that because of the toilet paper, I was saying it because I wanted to remember to put it in this post but now I don’t even remember why, gosh.